Are you a parent? Are you looking for a new podcast to listen to? Then stay tuned…and listen up people. I have the low down on This Glorious Mess, a new Podcast that – as much as it pains me to say – I have somehow become quite addicted to. I think it was Holly. You got me Holly, that lovely accent and far from perfect parenting – thank you! And Andrew, in case you are feeling left out early in the peace, then read on, you may be surprised.
So what is a podcast I hear some of you ask. Well if you are unsure then go back and read THIS POST that I wrote about podcasts and we will hang around while you catch up to 2015. Ok, are you done…right, then lets get on with things.
When I listened to the first episode of This Glorious Mess a couple of months ago I was sure it would be the last time I heard from them. Andrew Daddo seemed like such a smug perfect parent(or as you just said in your latest podcast Andrew – a “Smug arse” – ok, so you may have won me over with that comment…but back to my story where I want to not like you….). You know – those perfect parents who have perfect children who love being with their children…..are you hearing me….I thought he was one of those parents. Before we go to far into this story I just have to say that from that first encounter with Andrew and as much as I didn’t want to like him, agree with him or listen to him, I must say I have come round. Yes Andrew…. I have to say it “YOU ARE RIGHT”…. about everything. Oh god do you even know how much it pains me to say that, out loud? But he is right. Just have a listen to the Podcast. He and his Co-star – Holly Wainwright – are fantastic.
Now – Holly Wainwright. Well what can I say but – Thank you Holly… thank you for keeping me on board. I am not sure if it was your gorgeous accent or the fact that you don’t claim to be so perfect. But either way, you kept me interested and wanting to come back for more. I love that you keep it real, you parent differently to Andrew because your children are at a different stage to Andrews. Holly has children who are what I like to call “i-Children” – they need screens and bribes and sticker charts.
I can totally relate. So when Andrew couldn’t understand what a sticker chart was, or why your child wasn’t eating what the rest of the family was I was like “oh god, I am so hearing you Holly”. Andrew was just pissing me off with his smugness. But – deep down, I knew Andrew was totally right. He was all over it. Damn – HE WAS RIGHT. He kept questioning Holly: why did they need different food, just feed them what the family is eating or they go hungry. They aren’t going to starve. And HE WAS RIGHT – they won’t starve. Just tell them “NO”. Don’t do deals, don’t do sticker charts, don’t give them pocket money – just give it to them straight. They are not running the show, we are. Oh my god, HE WAS SO RIGHT.
So as I was out for my morning walk, it hit home – I am doing it all wrong. So thank you Andrew, thanks a million. When I went to town last week I didn’t give my children 2,032 options for dinner, I didn’t spend up big in Woolies on junk that they never get at home (like I usually do), I just told them what was happening… I told them what was for dinner, I gave it to them straight. And – guess what – they ate it. They really did. I took in Spag Bol from home and served it up in our cabin in town. Clancy (my 3 year old) said “I hate spag bol, yuck”. I just channelled Andrew and totally ignored him, I just said “sit up and eat your dinner Clancy” – it may have taken 3 or 4 go’s but in the end he was sitting there eating up his dinner saying “Yum, I love this”. Who’d have thought. YOU WERE RIGHT Andrew! Still pains me to say it.
Why do we give them so many options. Just take it or leave it. They are not going to starve. Then there is the i-Product problem. Do your kids love their i-Products? Do you use it as a babysitter? I have certainly been guilty of this. But I have cracked down and I can’t even tell you the last time my children even looked at an i-Product. Probably over 10 weeks ago. They don’t even get them in the car – on our 5 hour trip to town. Instead I download audiobooks, like The Witches by Roald Dahl. I am not using it anymore as the easy way out, as a babysitter. So when we were in town last week, I didn’t once give in and let Clancy have it to play with. I stood my ground, and you know what – he didn’t even ask for it. I just carted around a little bag of lego. When we were at the doctors and at the optometrist I just threw him the bag. Even when he started to whinge, I stayed strong and guess what, he was ok. Are you proud Andrew? Are you?
The latest episode of This Glorious Mess was titled “I can’t hear you screaming darling, Mummy is meditating”. The little blurb that goes with it reads: “Is it taboo to say motherhood is easy? What it really means when your teenager says they hate you. And would you spy on your kids online behaviour?
Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo speak to Jacinta Tynan, you can listen to it here or go to Podcasts or iTunes on your iPhone or android and download This Glorious Mess. I must say, when I first started listening to this particular episode I was sure this Jacinta lady was going to annoy the shit out of me, loving her kids so much and never getting annoyed with them, how irritating is that? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything, but they do get annoying sometimes. But gee I was wrong. Yet again, they converted me. I ended up agreeing with Jacinta. You see she put it out there that she doesn’t find parenting hard, she doesn’t hate it, etc…. but the bottom line is this: Jacinta deals with the same struggles you and I face, yes she does yell at her kids and lose her cool, yes she does get frustrated and feel exauhsted. I think the difference is that Jacinta has a whole different thinking paradigm when it comes to parenting. She doesn’t think it is hard (as such). Working for a boss you don’t like is hard, Cancer is “hard” or having a child with cancer is “hard”. Jacinta “doesn’t find attending to the needs of small children who you love and adore hard”, instead she calls it “intense” She is so right when she says that yes it is a lot of work, but it is what it is. I found myself walking along yesterday morning agreeing with everything and fascinated that although she faced the same struggles with her small people that I do, she tackles it in a completely different way.
Image Source: Mamamia
Jacinta also talks about “mother’s guilt”. She doesn’t get mother’s guilt, instead she “chooses to go – i’m doing a good job here – and we should all do that, we are doing the best job we can….”. She was so right. I constantly have “mother’s guilt”, day in and day out. It was so refreshing for her to say that she chooses not to feel guilty. She “doesn’t feel guilty about giving them chicken nuggets or working late, so long as you love your children and you are there for them and you love them unconditionally – then no guilt”. She is right, why do we beat ourselves up so much?
Tell me, have you listened to this podcast? If you are a parent and looking for a new podcast or some parenting inspiration then get on board. I seriously can’t believe I am even suggesting this, given that after the first episode I was sure I was never going to listen to another one….but here I am, banging on about it on my blog.
Thanks Holly & Andrew, during our short encounter you have taught me so much. You really have changed the way I parent. You would have been so proud of me in town last week Andrew, oh if only you could have seen me. SO PROUD!
Keep up the great work guys, I look forward to each episode now, and I really need to pop over and rate you on iTunes.
If you are a Mum or Dad out there struggling your way through parenthood, thinking you are doing it all wrong, worried that your children are not normal or that you are a bad parent, then have a listen. I am telling you – you will feel so much better and realise that you are actually only human and we are all facing the same struggle.