Yes, it really has my friends. I am sure you will agree. Why do people have to get their nickers in such a knot over ridiculous, pathetic little things? Are kids not allowed to be kids and enjoy a good birthday party anymore? Is saying “No, you can’t have any technology to play with – go outside” too much to ask, do we really have to lock iPads in safes? When did parents stop having any sort of authority over their children? And what the hell are Shopkins?
Just a few things we need to discuss today… please!!
You see I listen to all of these podcasts and sometimes I just need to talk them over with someone…. anyone. Some of the things they talk about make me want to eye roll out loud. Seriously.
Firstly – Party Loot Bags. Do we even need to discuss this. Do we really need to waste our breath? No, right? Wrong. Apparently a Mummy blogger in the USA has gone on a big rant saying that Loot Bags should be a thing of the past. WTF. Get out of town. Are kids not allowed to be kids anymore? No wonder they spend so much time on technology, they aren’t even allowed a stupid little lolly bag anymore at a Birthday Party for crying out loud.
Lets all just calm down and take a deep breath. It is just a little bag with stuff in it. I used to love going to Birthday Parties when I was a kid and my favourite part: The Lolly bag you got at the end (because DD would never let us have anything like that). Oh that and the cocktail frankfurts (or Cheerio’s as I now call them because I am basically a Territorian), god I loved those. Is it really that hard to pop a few cheap lollies into a little cheap bag and hand them out?
Party bags in my day (well don’t I just sound so old) just had lollies, no cheap toys. So lets just get back to basics and give the kids their loot bags. Why are we even discussing this? Remember when party bags used to just be those cheap little plastic lolly bags from Woolies filled with mixed lollies? Nothing over the top and we loved it. I can see why Mum’s might be up in arms when this is what we are dealing with now….
Give me strength. This is more for the Mum’s than for the kids. 5 year olds don’t care about fancy little bags, they just want the lollies. They do look good though don’t they and perhaps if I lived in town I would be totally guilty when it came to over doing the lolly bag.
It’s probably easy for me because we don’t really have kids parties but seriously I think I could even manage a lolly bag. Oh and what about those parents who don’t want their kids to eat sweets at a kids party…. ummmm don’t go to the party. Isn’t lollies, cakes and presents what a kids party is all about? I know for sure it was the only time I ever got to let loose and eat crap. It is called BEING A KID! And don’t even get me started on the whole “everyone gets a prize” in pass the parcel.
Ok, now that I have had my little rant about that lets discuss the next issue at hand: locking your kids screens in a safe. I mean – really??? When did parents stop having any sort of authority over their children, when no means no – full stop? Do we really have to lock the screens up so the kids can’t get them. What sort of little monsters are we raising?
Now let me be the first one to admit that I am definitely guilty of throwing my kids some screens to get some peace and quiet but I finally came to my senses at the beginning of the year and said NO MORE!!! After letting them run wild over the Christmas Holidays I took every screen away, deleted a heap of games (god aren’t I just the devil) and said NO MORE.
BOOM – cold turkey. Yep, there were tears my friends, there were tantrums but guess what – THEY GOD OVER IT. Sure it took a few days for them to “come down” from their iPad high, but after a few days in rehab they were all sorted. Yes, there were cold sweats and withdrawal symptoms but I was strong. No means no – we are the adults – remember!!!
And the result: children who are not possessed by the iPad devil! I have even taken it one step further and reduced their TV time. They are no longer allowed to turn the TV on in the mornings or at lunch. They can have it on from 4:30 – 6:30. I didn’t make excuses I just said that was that, no questions and they heard me. We need to take back our authority. Now they actually have to play with each other, go outside, use their imagination….. IMAGINE THAT!!! Tom was fine, he doesn’t watch TV, he is too busy working and Clancy is very happy to play lego but Harry would sit in front of that TV 24/7 if you let him.
And guess what else… now when I ask them to clean their teeth or get ready for school or have a shower for dinner and set the table they just do it because they aren’t glued to the TV saying “Just after this Mum, it is nearly over”.
What should you do on those 13 hour car trips now that they are not allowed technology? Audiobooks (on the iPhone so I guess they still get to touch it but it is just listening). Or how about sitting there looking out the window and maybe, just maybe they will have a sleep if their eyes aren’t glued to a screen. I kid you not my friends. And at home? Well kick them outside or tell them to go and play lego. Remember: it isn’t your job to be the entertainer.
It really is so much easier in the short term to throw them an iPad or turn the TV on but in the long run it is much easier for us to say no. (Don’t get me wrong, I am all for using Sesame Street and Playschool as a little babysitter for the toddlers but I am talking about the older kids here, the ones that need to get ready for school and get stuff done).
I heard all of this (screens locked in safe and loot bag nonsense) on This Glorious Mess – one of my favourite podcasts. Andrew Daddo is just so cool calm and collected and has older children (well 12, 15 & 17). So he has no issues with saying “No”. He makes so much sense and really does make me think about my parenting. We overthink everything. He makes you realise that a simple no means no. He also reminds us that it is not our job to entertain our children and that sometimes boredom is good for them. We need to stop feeling so guilty and just let them be kids. Thanks Andrew for being so wise.
Gosh, haven’t I just had a good old rant. If you have made it this far – well done. What are your thoughts?
Oh and lastly, they were discussing Shopkins on This Glorious Mess the other week… as we all know, I live under a rock but … what the hell are Shopkins??? Gosh I need to get out more.
Disclaimer: my children are by no means perfect, they have tantrums, fight and backchat, but ditching the screens has definitely helped.
Yes to lolly bags?
No to locking screens in safes?
Yes to just saying no means no?
This post reminds me of Bill Bryson’s book ‘The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid’ where he writes about his childhood in the 1950’s. His mother (as did all mothers) would kick the kids out it the house after breakfast and they weren’t allowed back in till dinner time. He said he would get so bored he would often just sit ‘in the bushes and pick his nose’!!!! Love it! I grew up in the 1960’s and early 1970’s and we certainly had to amuse ourselves but party bags were definitely on the agenda. But back in those days you were lucky to have a birthday party twice in your entire childhood and they certainly weren’t the spectaculars that kids get these days! Soooooo much competition with parenting these days. So sad!
Ha ha ha ha, I just laughed out loud at “sometimes he would just sit in the bushes and pick his nose”…. ha ha ha ha, too funny!!! Hang on, I can hear the kids coming back inside, just need to boot them back outside…. ok, done, it’s ok, they just wanted to know if they could build a TeePee, hell yes, as long as you are outside!!!
You are doing fine Miss Chardy. If parents don’t apply some common sense to child rearing the result could be something much worse when they reach teenagerhood , as it already has in a lot of cases. Your children need you to be the parent so that they grow into well-balanced individuals. I applaud you!
Yes yes yes. Some Gen Y’s or are they “Millennial’s” are very out of control and boy don’t they just have such a huge sense of entitlement. We see it loads up here with young kids (18 year olds) coming to work on the station. They just think everything is their god given right and that they are entitled to it all without any hard word. NO TO THAT!!!!
By jove I’m glad I found your blog. You are talking my language sister! I hate what iPads/screens do to kids- denying them childhood memories – that’s all they’re good for (okay maybe not all). And simple party bags? Hell yes! It’s the only time my kids get lollies. They couldn’t give a rat’s arse about the packaging. And Shopkins? They are little plastic/rubber figurines & play set thingies. We bought some as a gift for my daughter’s friend who is in to them but we don’t have any. And no means no! Since when do we have to justify our decisions to our children? We are the parents. We set the boundaries. It’s not a novel concept.
Will you look at that….I’m having a rant too. Lol. Thanks Muss Chardy. I feel a sense of validation after reading this. 🙂
Hi Shauna…. oh yes… you are speaking my language too!!! I must say, since it is school holidays I have let Harry play the xBox with his friend that he has over but holy cow – that kid could sit on there all day without moving, I swear to god. I just hunted them outside, it is such a gorgeous day out there, they can go and use their imagination (which he has in spades let me tell you). 🙂
I became the worst daughter in law when I told the grandparents no Mr soon to be 5 does not need a tablet for his birthday – take it back or sell it, buy him some Lego!
It was the best thing when our iPad broke last year, have not replaced it and we don’t even miss it.
More trouble than they are worth Haylz… good work.
I’m so glad there were no ipads when my kids were little, Bobbie and Karen spent their childhood playing in their cubby, I work in retail that’s the only reason I know what shopkins is, Dan it’s all about playing shop, you can buy all the food and everything, I played shop when I was little I used to cut out the pictures of groceries from catalogues then pester my mother as to the cost of everything. It’s the hardest job in the world being a parent, hang in there you’re doing great.
The boys went out yesterday to build a teepee out of sticks and leaves from the tree. I don’t care how much mess they make out there, at least they are outside playing. (I say as they are sitting on the lounge playing Xbox right now – but once it warms up outside they will be straight out there.) I used to love playing shops and also teachers.
I’ve never allowed tv in the mornings as it is no good for concentration later at school, as well as making it impossible to get kids to do anything. My older girls (9 & 11) are into an app where they mimic music videos. I can’t stand it, all the posing etc. I love kicking them outside. Our old school has an iPad program where half the classes are iPad classes. We never opted in and now I hear they are requiring them for every class. I can’t imagine my 4 year old starting school next year in an iPad class. I know how hard it is to get kids to concentrate properly when they are on a device, imagine a whole class. Ridiculous idea of how much technology we need. Now I’ve had my rant! (We would still have been at that school if we hadn’t had to move to Sydney). Also good luck with the walk. I love bush walking and can’t wait to take my girls on their first overnight hike. One of the most amazing walks I’ve done was in the Drakensburg mountains in South Africa. Five nights and sleeping in caves.
I am hearing you Karen. My soon to be 5 year old would be out of his mind if he got to use an iPad everyday at school, he would just want to play Bad Piggies. ha ha ha ha. And I can tell you now it turns him into a very “bad piggie”. Not pretty. Can’t wait for our walk. Your walk in South Africa sounds amazing.
I live in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne, which is anti-sugar, anti-fat, anti-fun territory. One of the father’s of my son’s friend at kinder was mortified when his wife (a rebel to the establishment) organised their child’s birthday party at McDonald’s. He knew the anti-fat, anti-sugar parents would be secretly scorning him.
A poster flanks the entry way to my son’s kinder depicting what an appropriate lunchbox looks like: no sugar, no fat, no taste. (No milk, eggs or peanuts either). I love to bake and usually give my son a baked good for morning tea. I am waiting for one of the teachers to make a comment.
As for lolly bags at birthday parties, I’m with you. What are parents doing with their designer bags???. I also feel the same way about the bottles of water with the fancy straws (no cordial any more), the labelled fruit platters and vegie sticks, and the three tired birthday cake that costs $400 to have custom made. What happened to fairy bread (white bread God forbid!), chocolate crackles, and a hastily prepared cake from the Woman’s Weekly Birthday Cakes book! And if you don’t fork out an extra $250 to get an entertainer of some sort (Clown, face painter, fairy, jumping castle) then you are just damn neglecting your kid.
Kids are not allowed to roam free here in suburbia anymore either. One of the parent’s from my son’s kinder lets her other daughter who is in Prep walk a couple of blocks home from school by herself. She has had calls from the school asking what she is doing allowing such a thing?? Ummm, promoting responsibility and resilience???? According to the school this too is bordering on neglect.
The world is certainly going mad.
I am speechless Maz. Just speechless. All I can say is thank god I live up here otherwise I might be forced to punch someone in the face, ha ha ha ha. That would all do my head in. My goodness.
Don’t get Me started in the loot bag argument…there’s nothing wrong with a brown paper bag (in my youth) that’s been decorated with crayons or textas (also me) and with some lollies popped inside….I mean WHY go to the party if there’s no likely bag at the end???? Ludicrous I say…..ludicrous!!!
My gorgeous son turned 24 last week ARGH! But he spent nearly 10 years in a martial arts school as a teenager; so I got to help “raise” half a dozen young men; I was one of the instructors. Even to this day I only need to say one phrase to stop him from behaving in a way that I don’t approve of: “excuse me young man” has worked wonders all of his life, it has also saved me from yelling at him (99% of the time) and embarrassing him and myself. It also made him understand that NO MEANS NO!
*rant over*
Oh rant away I say Mish. And good work with your son! Love the sound of your lolly bags!!!