Do you suffer from “Bitch”??? I have found the cure*. These pills promise to make you a nicer person, less psycho, basically they seem like the one stop shop for all of your problems. They have to be too good to be true…surely.
Look what arrived on the mail plane this week:
My order from Pharmacy Online. If you missed my post about PMS you might want to go back and have a ready so you are on the same page as us…. just click here.
Right, are you all caught up? Great.
So I pulled out the PMS pills and announced to Mr Chardy: “Look, my anti bitch pills have arrived, these are going to turn me into a nice person”…. he was sceptical to say the least. Just have a read of this box, it is hilarious. Surely they can’t do all of this. But I am willing to risk it and give them a go. Lets see how I feel after a month. Here they are, just have a read of this box, it appears they really are the miracle cure – unbelievable.
I also finally have some Rescue Remedy, I may have popped a couple of the Pastilles yesterday and even sprayed my tongue when the kids were going crazy and running around the house fighting…. I think they actually worked. I did feel calm. I didn’t scream like a raving psycho. I took a few deep breaths and nearly whispered at them to calm down. I think I need to take my own advice on the odd occasion. Just have a read of the Rescue Remedy, it seems this is an all in one cure too. I am going to be such a nice person in no time at all.
In other news….
My New Job
I am going to be the new Station Cook. I know, I am moving up in the world people. Unfortunately our new cook is feeling a little trapped in the kitchen and I just don’t have the heart to find a new one. They are few and far between anyway. So I am it. Watch this space, you may see quite a bit of spray going on my tongue and I am sure there will be plenty of recipes to come.
So it is a good thing I have managed to get my life and house sorted and under control. I have now been clean for 52 days! It has definitely become a habit now, and I don’t even have to think about it. So I think I can do this cooking gig (stop rolling your eyes Mrs Rumbo and Mrs P), I just need to stay organised. Are you keen to come along for the ride?
I haven’t been to town for…
It has now been 58 days since I have been to town…. we returned home from holidays on 21st January, that is nearly 2 months people…. 2 months, do you hear me. I HAVEN’T BEEN TO TOWN FOR 2 MONTHS!!!! No wonder I need these pills. I have been off the station 3 times, but not to an actual town. I have travelled on lonely highways and bumpy dirt roads….but no town! And my online shopping is getting out of control, I am going to have to put myself on a ban.
ProBlogger 2015
Did you get your tickets? The most exciting thing that has happened in the past 2 months is securing a ticket to the ProBlogger Conference, which will be held in August down on the Gold Coast. I went last year and you can read all about my experience here. I was so new to blogging, didn’t have a clue really. I purchased my ticket before I even had a blog. But it was the best thing I ever did. I met so many wonderful people who I now call my “virtual friends”, well I have met some of them in real life but it was quite brief. So I am really looking forward to this years event, where I will know these people, it is going to be that much fun. So tell me – will I see you there? Is it your first time? Don’t be scared, be brave and come along! I will have a wine with you – Yes I am looking at you She Sows Seeds and Between you & me.
What are your plans for the weekend? I really can’t believe it is Friday already.
I am trying to convince Mrs Savvy B to come over and play. Come on Mrs SB…..
*Don’t worry, I don’t actually think they are going to cure my inner bitch, this is meant to be more of a funny post than a medical one, so don’t get your nickers in a knot over it. Please!
52 days clean – sounds like you’re a coke addict! I would NOT cope being away from town for 2 months. Well done on taking over the meals, it’ll be a massive undertaking but you’re the woman for the job. Love all those anti-bitch potions, interested to know if they have a real impact. Roll on August and come Mrs Savvy B, head over and have a few vinos with Miss Chardy it sounds like she’s in desperate need of some fabulous company! If I had a private jet I’d be there in a flash x
Oh honey, are you telling me your lear jet is out of action??? ha ha ha. I will be sure to let you know if the miracle pills and potions work. Can you believe what the boxes say – good lord, they really can’t be that amazing, surely. ha ha ha. God I can’t wait until August.
Super excited at the prospect of meeting you at ProBlogger Miss Chardy! Can’t wait!!!
It will be such fun!
I’m gutted that I will not be at PB this year to hug you and commiserate about having to wait so long for relief! Best to you! x
PS – congrats on the cook gig. That sounds rather fun. I think… x
Thank Bron
Oh Bron, nooooo – you know your session last year was one of my favourites, so this is a total fan girl moment having you comment on my blog…. I just loved your session last year, could have listened to you for hours. I have finally found a routine with my blogging (after you suggested that we need to have a routine….it has been ringing in my ears since August last year and I am finally getting it sorted….have been blogging Mon, Wed, Fri since the end of Jan, not that hard after all…. it turns out I needed to stop thinking so much about what to blog about and just do it…talk shit. ha ha ha ha.
Good luck with the anti-bitch pills. If they work I might add some to the water supply- there are too many not-nice people about 🙂
Ha ha ha ha, yes, I seriously think we should be handing these out willy nilly, ha ha ha. Some people do need a good dose of “Happy Pills”.
Cooking. Wow. Hope the pills and potions help get you through that! X
I think the cooking is actually going to keep me sane….famous last words…..will see how things pan out, ha ha ha.
Yet another awkward read haha jee the things women talk about…. oooww ! But I digress…. Cooky Miss Chardy really? You need to fix this Miss Chardy, you need a new cooky. No more trips away because you have to feed those hungry masses and who will watch over the place when you’re indulging with Hi tea on the grassy fields at the local race day?? All important questions I think. Oh Miss Chardy think about the poor contractors who visit, wont someone think of the poor contractors. … haha
Ha ha ha ha, are you worried I am going to be “cranky bitch from hell cook”….. I am feeling good about my new position….”Kitchen Manager” as I like to call it. ha ha ha. You will be well fed, and perhaps a Japanese Slipper as a pre dinner cocktail.
Oh yes please, I think I might need these or maybe I just need to get rid of whatever is causing the stress and sleep more. Be good to know how they go.
ha ha ha, yes sleep might be an important factor, I am so cranky if I don’t get enough… I will be sure to keep you posted Anne.
Hi, I have just discovered your blog and love it! I live in a rural area in Victoria, did a stint in a even more rural area in NSW, and I’m married to a shearer/farmer, so deal with sheep, cows, horses etc…. I have taken these ‘anti bitch’ pills before, I took the after having my last two children (I have four in total), and they are fantastic. They work wonders. They took about a month to notice the effects but they were brilliant. I also have a constant supply of the Bach Rescue remedy pastilles, some by my bed and some in my handbag, as I suffer from panic attacks on the odd occasion and they calm me down straight away. They are brilliant too. Glad you found them and I’m glad I found your blog! Have a great week!!
Amber
http://www.sweetwordsprettypictures
Hi Amber, Oh I am so excited that those pills worked wonders for you, I have been taking them religiously since they arrived, so fingers crossed. Great to have you on board, I am looking forward to checking out your blog/website.