Firstly I must tell you about a new podcast I have just found. It could not have come at a more appropriate time either – a time when I have been feeling so overwhelmed and wondering how in the hell every other woman out there does it all. The podcast is called I Don’t Know How She Does It … can you believe it? Me either. I was beside myself so of course I downloaded the first 2 episodes, well actually the only 2 episodes because it is so new. And let me tell you my friends, it did not disappoint. The women interviewed were Jane Kennedy (5 children) and Annabel Crabb (3 children). Such real, down to earth women. They don’t pretend that they “do it all” and definitely keep it real. Yes, they have help, and I love that they admit this. No one can do it all without help! They were my kind of ladies and I could have listened to them all day – when can we have a wine Jane and Annabel? Just sort it out will you!
If you are sitting there wondering what on earth a podcast is and how you can download one, just read THIS post that I wrote a little while ago, it might help you out a bit. You can listen to them while you are doing all of those boring jobs like cleaning the house, folding the washing, long drives etc.
We waved off Stu & Joanie yesterday morning. Yes, there were tears, I was so sad to see them go. I don’t think people should come to visit me because I hate goodbyes and it is never pretty when they leave. Mr Chardy was cutting up a killer in the butcher shop so I thought the right thing to do was give them a little roast for all of their hard work, you can think of us when you are cooking it up in your camp oven Stu!
Now, having my sister here and also Stu & Joan has made me realise one thing – I can’t do it all myself…. I just can’t. I would like to think I can and have definitely given it a red hot go, but I just can’t. Things are falling apart. Trying to do everything and not doing any of it very well. So can you imagine how excited I was when the RAFS (Remote Area Family Services) girls turned up to do a playgroup with Clancy yesterday. He had them all to himself for 3 hours of play. Real play. And I had 3 hours without him by my side…. gee it was nice. The RAFS girls travel around all of the outback stations in North West QLD, Gulf and into the NT holding playgroups and home visits for any children under 5 years of age. Clancy just loved it…
They bring all sorts of fun gear with them – toys (he loved the trains), paints, sand pit, obstacle course, art and craft. Yesterday they had a pirate theme. Right up Clancy’s alley – he makes a great pirate.
So…. I guess it is time to admit that I can’t do it all, I have come to my senses and hopefully a cook will be on the way soon. Lets hope she is wonderful and loves life here! I feel like a bit of a failure because I really did think I could do this cooking thing, and I can, but I just can’t stay on top of everything else – all of my other jobs. Having my sister and other visitors up here has also made me realise how lonely life is when it is just me and the kids. I often feel like a single mother who is doing a really terrible job of absolutely everything. Things are so busy here at the moment, it is just go go go – and I know it is like this for everyone but something has to give.
My name is Miss Chardy and I can’t do it all – there I said it. I am not superwoman! It turns out if you do want to be superwoman and “do it all” you definitely need help. So that is what is happening people…. help is on the way.
How are you going with your lot in life? Feeling overwhelmed? It is not a good feeling is it! Don’t worry you are definitely not alone…. most of us feel this way I think, just a lot of people don’t tell you about it. Lets just keep reminding ourselves of this…
Have a great weekend!
Um…failure, my arse!!! What you do is amazing (as is every mum’s efforts in all kinds of situations)! I think the worst thing we can do is deny ourselves the opportunity to receive help. It’s a great non-failure decision to make!
You’re awesome – winning not failing! x
Oh Thanks so much Kez, so lovely of you. We are just so hard on ourselves aren’t we.
Mate, you ARE superwoman. I have no idea how you have kept the cooking up for this long! Fingers crossed you find a wonderful cook very quickly.
PS. Having other people craft with the kids is the reason I send the Little Sister to her daycare mother! xx
Oh you are way too sweet Amanda. Clancy just loved his craft time yesterday, I can’t stand doing that stuff.
Thank you Miss Chardy! Great post….I totally get how you feel 🙂 I will download & listen to the podcast and I will get help!!! My son is grown up but my job in emergency management involves looking after an area bigger than Victoria ….24/7… as well as helping my husband with our farm, elderly parent issues, cooking , cleaning etc etc..I love my work & life but yes…continually feel like I am doing nothing very well! Maybe a cleaner a couple of days a week would take the pressure off. And yes….you are awesome xx
Do it, get a cleaner…. or someone, just get help! Thanks for your lovely message and good luck with everything you have on your plate!
As I grow older and a little wiser, I am realising that it is more the norm to feel overwhelmed and challenged but it is how we deal with these times.( why didn’t I understand this 30 years ago?) I have only been following your blog for a little while but you are amazing . Your writing is an insight into a very different life to mine. You make me rethink the conveniences that I have in urban Sydney. I admire your ingenuity and stamina on many levels. We all feel overwhelmed and we must consider ourselves in the way we respond to such times. I think you should rank yourself highly.
Hi Christine, what a wonderful message and you are so right about “how we deal with these times”. I am really going to make an effort to deal with them a little better….starting now! Thanks so much.
Miss Chardy, you are dealing with things superbly well already. I like how you face challenges with a glass of Chardy. You must try facing menaces with a glass of Merlot at the ready. I so look forward to you next post and thanks for letting me into your life.
I don’t mind the odd glass of red. Thanks again. 🙂
Good on you for voicing that you can’t do it all, I’m sure lots of young mums feel the same but are worried about ‘failure’. It’s great that you had the ladies come for play and craft because if you were near family I reckon it’d be the grandparents job – I know I love doing crafty things with my grandies as do many of my friends in the scrapbooking/papercraft world. We don’t just stop at craft though we also do the whole cooking bit as well. Keep up the great work Miss Chardy. 🙂
You are so right Sandra. Thanks so much for your message.
Hang in there Chards, all most of us do is muddle through and hope our kids turn out half civilised. You’re doing a great job!
Thanks Mrs Rumbo…I will keep muddling through…. wish you were here!!!
Thanks for your great post. Loved it.
Thanks Suzy 🙂
good for you, i hope the cook works out!
Me too Michele!!!
Perfect timing for me. I just stepped back from several FB groups (that I really love!) because one symptom of my overwhelm was my retreat into social media. So yep. Feeling you.
Social media can be such a killer of time… lucky I don’t have wifi over in the kitchen or I would never get anything done. Great to hear from you and thanks for your message.
All of the successful people out there are experts in the art of delegation, I’m fairly sure next financial year I’m re-hiring my cleaner, it’s a waste of my time, stress and energy! Chin up lovely – just 7 weeks to go xx
Oh wow – 7 weeks, are you serious!!?? And you are so right, organised successful people are brilliant delegators, it is the key!
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately – the fact that I “should” (ugh. the “s” word) be able to do it all, as I’m “just” (ugh again) a stay at home Mum to 3 kids. And I really believe that we could do it all, and do it well, if it were for a finite amount of time; say 1 week. Or even 2 weeks. But doing it all 24/7, for months and years, or even decades on end, is impossible. We don’t expect people in the traditional workforce to be doing their job for the same amount of time, so why should we see our job as any different?
All the best finding a wonderful cook who can make tasty dishes and be a fabulous companion to you and your family.
Oh god… stay at home mum to 3 kids…. now that is bloody hard, frustrating, soooo much work….not to mention lonely a lot of the time… thanks for your message. 🙂
I happen to think you are a true super woman, you have so much more on your plate than I could imagine being able to even attempt to do. I can’t do it all, and I have to start owning that myself. I’m running myself into the ground trying and I only feed 7. Those RAFs girls are all kinds of awesome, what a fabulous service. Be kind to yourself my friend. xx
I don’t think it matters if you are feeding 7 or 17 it is still a lot…. I can’t imagine having 5 kids….so go you! We definitely need to be kinder to ourselves…
Hello Miss Chardy,
I wish I lived closer to you so I could come on over and have a chardy.
Most important is to take care of yourself AS you won’t be able to take care of the people you love unless you take care of yourself.
You must stop feeling pulled in a million directions, try this sequence of steps:
Take the “overwhelm” out of your head through it away, where you can distance yourself from it a bit.
Write down every task you can think of that you are worrying about ex: family, kids, Mr Chardy, health etc.(you will have your list) Once you’ve done this, group your tasks into chunks, do the important ones.
Action is the antidote to feeling overwhelmed. Very often it is not the activities themselves that stress us out but our worrying about the activities.
Just begin. Very often the simple action of beginning will alleviate the anxiety and stress that has accumulated.
Your new cook will be wonders for you Miss Chardy, we are all only human and we can’t do it all,
I just admire you so much your a very special person as not everyone could live where you live and do what you do. Keep smiling and look after your beautiful family.
Oh Barbie, thanks a million…. right – I really did just take your advice and sat down and listed all my jobs and then sorted them out, mapped out my week so as not to try and do every single one in the one day…. I really do feel better, they seem do-able now. You are right that the problem is worrying about the activities, that is so true, I need to just get on with things. Thanks so much. 🙂
I have just discovered your blog & think you are fabulous, thank you for your honesty. Can’t wait to read more. X
Hi Narelle, so happy to have you on board, thanks for your message. 🙂
Good on you for keeping it real! I think you are doing an awesome job at remaining sane, given all the people and tasks you have to worry about, whilst being in the middle of nowhere! You really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
Wishing you the best with your search for a cook, the great ones are a very special breed!
Take care of you! 🙂
Thanks for such a lovely message Evie.