Well I am here to be fully transparent and tell you all of my epic cookbook fail.  I have learnt a very hard lesson this week: don’t get 500 cookbooks printed without asking 1 or 3 people to proofread it.

Seriously guys, why do I think I can do EVERYTHING myself.  It is like my kids when they were young and they used to say “I can do it mine self”.  Well that is me!  Why do I find it so hard to ask for help, why do I think I can do it all?  Turns out I can’t. And it turns out I am not a cookbook editor.  Who’d have thought.   I must think I am a jack of all trades, but turns out I am master of none.

Over the past few months – while kind of stuck here on the station – I have basically turned into an Author, Editor in Chief, Hairdresser and Kick boxer. But really – I haven’t!

As you know I have been putting my cookbook together – Miss Chardy’s Guide to Station Cooking.  I have been so excited about it – I have wanted to do this for a few years now.  I found a publisher in Australia and I typed up the copy for them, even did the cover artwork myself – of course I did.  I have read that cookbook so many times over the past 2 months, but it turns out I needed a different set of eyes to check it over.  I mean it is a no brainer right?  Wrong! 

Of course I also think I am a Website Developer, so I have been working on the backend of my blog to turn it into an online shop.  The gorgeous Kirsten from Bettyquette and Kirsten & Co has been helping me and I think we nearly have it sorted but again – maybe this is something I should get someone else to do, but no – I think I can do everything.  There are actually trained professionals who do this shit.  

So yes – I sent through that copy to the printers and off we went.  Of course, I don’t do things by halves so thought it best to order 500 cookbooks – as you do.  

They are now sitting pretty in a warehouse in Brisbane – where they will be distributed from – and I also had 100 sent to Mt Isa so I could launch my cookbook next week at our Wild Spark Event in Mt Isa.  I was so excited until I started to actually use the cookbook (well the version I had printed here and put in a folder).  I started to find a couple of mistakes – OF COURSE I DID – because I am not an editor!  I was in denial after finding the first couple of mistakes and thought it would be ok, then I pushed myself to check further and kept finding mistakes.  I mean look guys – it is real, and there are 400 of them at Lexington Logistics in Brisbane – isn’t it pretty…

I felt sick.  I wondered what I should do – of course just having conversations in my own head at this stage.  Talking it over with myself, because that’s always a good idea isn’t it?  Heads up: it’s not!   I talked over a few options with myself:

1. Sell the cookbook and hope for the best – ignorance is bliss right? I mean there is a disclaimer at the start telling everyone there may be mistakes so that makes up for everything, right? There are probably mistakes in the disclaimer for crying out loud.
2. Sell the cookbook at a reduced rate – but then those cookbooks would be in circulation with all of those mistakes in it and was I prepared to do that? 
3. Fix the mistakes, do a re-run of the cookbooks and give the dud ones to family and friends.   No way – not one single dodgy cookbook will ever go into circulation!
4. Fix the mistakes, get a couple of different people to proofread it and do a re-run of printing the cookbooks.  Discard all 500 of the dodgy cookbooks and start again.  Suck it up and pay the price. Shit was getting real!

Our crew came over for dinner that night and I admitted my massive mistake to them – that wasn’t easy!  I like to do things perfectly and this was not ok.  How embarrassing – I mean seriously – what on earth was I thinking.  I really do like to learn things the hard way, but this was ridiculous. 

I asked them what they thought and the hesitation alone was enough for me.  They were thinking exactly what I was thinking – there is no way I can put that cookbook into circulation, NO WAY!  Then I told Mr Chardy – well that made me feel sick.  But he was amazing – always very wise.  He just said bluntly – well you can’t sell that.  You will ruin your name and your brand!  You are going to have to fix it and start again.  He likened it to branding cattle – the brand that goes on his cattle here are a reflection of him, he needs to make sure those cattle are in the best possible shape when they leave here. That brand is his brand. Isn’t he wise!

Geez, turns out actually speaking to real people does help. It really is true what they say – a problem shared is a problem halved.  

I guess the hardest thing was admitting my error to my business partner – Ed!  That really did make me feel sick.  But doing the right thing isn’t always easy.  I feel so bad that I have let her down and I am just so cross with myself and so embarrassed.  

So, Sam – our Jillaroo – helped me proofread it.  I read through everything and highlighted the mistakes and then Sam went over it again and highlighted anything I had missed.  Um hello, if I took an extra 3 days and did this before sending to the printer I wouldn’t be in this predicament!

We have all been having a good old laugh about it – if I don’t laugh I will definitely cry.  Sam found a few funny mistakes… as I said: Epic Fail.  Check these out, this is the blooper reel.

We call this one “the ham fart”…

“Make sure you cut just through the FART and not into the meat”. I will definitely take that on board Miss Chardy!

Then there are the Taco MICE…

I mean really, a Taco MICE Pizza sounds like the business doesn’t it! Where exactly do I get these Taco Mice from? Should I set a trap the night before?

On the upside I have learnt quite a lot from this silly mistake.  I have learnt that talking your problems over out loud with an actual person really does help.  Stop having conversations with yourself in your head Dan!  I have learnt that you really should ask for help especially if you are planning on having 500 cookbooks printed!  I have learnt that I really can’t do EVERYTHING myself.

In the whole scheme of things it is a first world problem, no one is sick, no one died, and it is just a bloody cookbook.  I am so glad I found these mistakes before I sent them out into circulation.  I mean how embarrassing having that cookbook in station kitchens with all of those errors.  I just couldn’t do it.  

So why am I telling you all this embarrassing story – hopefully it will make you feel better about yourself and it is important to be transparent.  People make mistakes, and I am just glad I am able to fix this one before I release it for real.  

Of course, Ed has talked sense into me, and I am putting the cookbook aside until after our Wild Spark Mt Isa Event which is happening next Friday 13^th March.  I am so sad I won’t be able to launch it there, but I have got to stop rushing things.   I mean I actually emailed my printer yesterday to see if there was any chance at all that we could get a new batch of books to Mt Isa by next Thursday – because I think I can do ALL THE THINGS.  Don’t worry – I am not doing that – I am not going to rush this one, turns out it is better to do things properly – gosh who’d have thought.  To the printer’s credit, he said he would try, but I have put that idea to the side for now.  

Once Wild Spark Mt Isa is done and dusted, I will turn my focus to the cookbook, hopefully it will be almost perfect by then, and we will be able to have the new books printed.  It also gives me time to sort out the website and online shop.  You will be able to purchase the book online and pay using your credit card or PayPal.  

I hope I haven’t scared you off.  I am so excited about this cookbook and can’t wait to have one in my own kitchen – all of my favourite recipes in the one spot.  

Now is there anything you would like to talk over? This is basically a therapy session. 

PS: It seems I am not alone – Kelly has left a comment on my facebook post that reads: “Be kind to yourself! Even major publishers mess up?…. she linked to an article that is titled: Penguin cookbook calls for “freshly ground black people” – they had to destroy 7000 copies, makes mine seem quite tame.