Saying Goodbye

April 15, 2015

I am not really sure where to start.  I have so much to say about the last couple of weeks.  I walk around all day thinking of different things I would like to tell you and go to bed at night with ideas rolling off my tongue.  If only I could publish my thoughts.  When I sit in front of this screen I seem to forget them all.

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Saying Goodbye.  Wow – we have said many goodbyes lately.  I guess I will start with Mick’s Memorial Service which we hosted here at Chardy HQ on Friday. It was absolutely lovely.  The weather was perfect.  Around 85 people attended.  Can you even believe this – 85!  We live in the middle of nowhere for goodness sake and that is how many people came to pay their respects to this beautiful young man.   Most people would have travelled for 3 hours or more one way.  Our ex-cook, you know – the one we miss so much who was with us for 6 years – Aileen & her husband Brian – drove for 15 hours one way.  Straight through on Thursday, arriving in the dark and stayed for less than 24 hours.  So they did a 30 hour round trip, left on Thursday and were back home by Saturday night.  It was just so great to have them here.  And what about our other friends who travelled just a little bit further than Brian and Aileen – Meags and DJ, we couldn’t have done it without them.

memorial 1

Mick’s Aunts, Uncles and family friends flew up too.  Ian & Di, Peter, Helen and Noel.  What a massive day they had getting here.  Leaving Ballarat at 3am, driving to Melbourne, flying to Mt Isa and then hiring a car to drive 5 hours out here – all in the one day, and they managed to arrive in daylight.  It was so great to have them here even if it was only for 2 nights.  We were still a blubbering mess saying goodbye to them when the time came.

It was wonderful to see so many people make such a huge effort to say goodbye to Mick.

I am still gobsmacked at the amount of work that went on here at Chardy HQ over the past couple of weeks.  I have never seen anything like it.  So many people, working so hard.  I can’t thank everyone enough for all of their help.  By yesterday everyone had left, we had said our sad goodbyes and waved everyone off with eyes full of tears and hearts bursting with love for old and new friends who now feel more like family.  I hate goodbyes at the best of times, so can you even imagine what it was like this time.

I walked into the Station Kitchen yesterday at smoko time.  Made myself a coffee and said “where the hell is the cook and why hasn’t she made smoko?” Of course by this I meant where is Susan (Mick’s Mum) and Anne (Georgie’s Mum – our Jillaroo) who took over that kitchen and pumped out meal after meal over the past couple of weeks.  Feeding a minimum of 15 people most days and nights, often more.  I wanted to know who the hell was going to cook for us now and remembered it was me.  I guess it is time to try and get back into some sort of lonely routine without my girls.  Who am I going to laugh with now?  Who am I going to boss around?  Who am I going to cry with?  Lucky I still have Georgie & Gabby, where would I be without them, they have been my rocks for the past couple of weeks, ever since this awful nightmare began.  So thanks Georgie & Gabs, I couldn’t have done any of this without you!

Nev (Mick’s Brother) and Mr Chardy have worked tirelessly the whole time.  I am not quite sure how they are still standing.  Nev has been so strong, organising all sorts of things that you wouldn’t wish on anyone.  Mr Chardy hasn’t stopped once either and is a little lost now without his main man Mick.

The kindness that people have shown to us over the past couple of weeks has been amazing.  I know I keep banging on about it but it is true.  The people we have had here have felt like one big family.  Everyone chipped in, be in cleaning, chopping onions, baking slice, washing windows, making up rooms and beds, washing windows, mowing, trimming hedges…. they were all happy to help.  We are just so lucky to have such wonderful people in our lives, I still can’t believe it.   So many nice people.  It restores your faith in human kind.

Two friends who I keep leaving out and perhaps just take for granted are Mr & Mrs Savvy B.  I don’t think I have told you how unreal they have been.  Their offer to help was immediate after Mick’s accident.  They kept calling to make sure we were all ok.  Then come Sunday I knew I had to call them and ask for help.  You see  that was the day Pete, Susan and Annabel were arriving.  Complete strangers who had lost their son.  What do you even say to them?  Do you offer a cup of tea and some fruit cake?  Do you sit down and talk?  I just didn’t know how to do it.  I called Mr & Mrs Savvy B (who are our best mates and neighbours) and they were here within 3 hours.  Mrs Savvy B sorted me out and we got everything ready for the arrival of Mick’s parents and also stayed for 2 nights.  Of course all the worry was for nothing, because Pete, Susan and Annabel were like family as soon as we hugged them.  I will be forever grateful to Mr & Mrs Savvy B for all the support they have given us and Mick’s family.  We couldn’t have done it without them.

It is amazing what you can do when you switch to auto pilot.  You just get on and do things, you just have to.  We are stronger than we think we are aren’t we?  If someone had have told me 3 weeks ago that soon I would be hugging the grieving parents of one of our staff who had lost his life I would have said you were crazy and that I couldn’t do it.  If I was watching a friend go through this I would wonder how the hell they were doing it and  tell them how unbelievable they were.  I would say “I don’t know how you do it, I could never do that…..”  But here we are…. we have done it – we just had to! We have laughed, cried and hugged each other.  We have made that much food and fed so many people.  We managed to cater for 85 people on Friday and had food to spare.  I know that Mick’s family are incredibly strong, wonderful people.

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So thanks Mick for bringing us all together.  I am sorry you had to leave us to make this possible.  I am sorry we had to say goodbye to you so we could say hello to so many wonderful people.  Isn’t life funny, how things work out.  I am sorry we had to say goodbye to you Mick to make me realise how thankful I am for my healthy children, to meet so many new people, that your uncle who just happens to be a vet was here to help Rosie our dog.  We think she was actually suffering a broken heart, and has come good now, but what are the chances that a vet is on hand at the exact time Rosie is ill.  They say everything happens for  a reason and I believe this.  I am not sure the reason you were taken from us Mick and I don’t like it one little bit, but thank you for bringing everyone together.  Please look after your brother Nev, your beautiful Mum and Dad and of course your sister Annabel….  and please watch over Mr Chardy – who isn’t sure what to do without his mate and right hand man.

Thankyou and goodbye. xxx

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68 Comments

  1. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me

    The kids are wondering why I am crying. Oh lovely, what a poignant post. I can’t imagine the plethora of emotions that you are all experiencing. Big love to you my friend x

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Ha ha ha, don’t worry the kids just think me crying is normal these days!!! xxx

      Reply
  2. Helen

    Oh my! What an emotional piece. So beautifully written. A beautiful tribute. So sorry for your loss.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks so much Helen.

      Reply
  3. Cooker and a Looker

    Oh lovely, typing through tears. I’ve experienced many of these emotions in the weeks and months after David died. Cannot wait to give you a proper in real life hug. xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      I cannot wait either…just cannot wait to hug my virtual friends!!! xxx

      Reply
  4. Amy

    Oh Chardy, I am in tears! I can’t even begin to imagine what you are all going through. I don’t even know you personally, but you have been in my thoughts everyday. I’m so thankful that you have people around you that are so supportive. Sending you my love! x

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Oh you are so sweet Amy, thanks so much for your lovely message and especially for thinking of a complete stranger. x

      Reply
  5. bushbabe

    Yep, That got me. Hugs to you all… sounds like you did him proud. xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks bush babe!! x

      Reply
  6. BabyMacBeth

    Oh Chards…heartbreaking. Looks like it’s been an amazing few weeks, a time that his family will treasure no doubts. I hope you are all doing OK especially now that life, somehow, has to go on. Thinking of you all and sending lots of love xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      It was a very special couple of weeks Beth, we will never forget it either. Thanks for your lovely message. x

      Reply
  7. ffhousemouse

    Beautiful words. So much sad amongst such happy times and memories. X

    Reply
  8. Miss Twinings

    Oh Miss Chardy, big outback hugs to u, tear are welding here…. don’t we amaze ourselves though sometimes about our inner strengths at such emotional times. What a lovely post with such beautiful, honest words. Such an incredible new support network you have now through new friends. Every cloud has a silver lining…some clouds are worse than others unfortunately -like this, but you eventually pull through after a tough period. best wishes & i am sure cooking in the kitchen will help take your mind off it somewhat, knock their sox off with some awesome recipes!!!

    Reply
  9. Tina crettenden

    Such a moving post, the photo of micks hat and sunnies is quite chilling, not knowing either of you i had tears rolling down my face. Take care xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks Tina, thanks for caring. x

      Reply
  10. foodthatsingscatering

    How very sad! I feel for you like all these other comments reflect… we are amazing creatures!!! Big love to you & yours…Roni xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks so much Roni for all of your thoughts over the weeks. x

      Reply
  11. Karen

    Recently, I read a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “A women is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water” … hugs

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Oh Karen, I love it. So so true. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  12. Tanya

    I can barely type through the tears. What a fitting tribute to Mick. I have been thinking of you all over the last couple of weeks, keeping you in my prayers. It has really struck a nerve after learning yesterday a girl from home died in a fire Monday. It’s so sad that sometimes it takes these types of things for us to realise how short and precious life is. Sending you the biggest hugs and lots of love to you all.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Hi Tanya, what is happening, so many people losing their lives…. good people! Thanks for thinking of us. Sorry to hear about the fire.

      Reply
  13. Jess

    Oh miss chardy this is a incredibly moving beautifully written piece. We never want or imagine we will have to say goodbye to those who we love and hold close to our hearts, but when its someone who is young and healthy, in their prime, well it’s just effin bullshit! I hope you find some comfort in knowing that there are people from all over the country (world?) who are wrapping you in their love and support, you’ve got this girlfriend! 🙂

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks so much Jess, so lovely of you to think of us. Thanks a million

      Reply
  14. Little Munch

    Your beautifully written words have struck such a chord. I lost a young cousin in an accident on a country road not too far from our respective farms when he was 19. Seeing the photos of Mick’s memorial has brought the memories flooding back of those very difficult times – all those beautiful young men in their big hats and boots. I do hope all of them are ok. I think we females process it a little bit easier as we are good at chatting over a cup of tea (or glass of chardy). The blokes just tend to get straight back into the saddle and get on with it. Grieving, it’s a bloody awful business x

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Hi Rebecca, thanks for your lovely message. They are just too young aren’t they. So sad about your cousin too.

      Reply
  15. Leah Henderson

    Oh your words have pulled on my heart strings. Isn’t it funny how such a tragic accident can bring people together and make us appreciate the things we normally take for granted.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Hi Leah, it sure is funny how things work out. Great to hear from you. See you on Saturday.

      Reply
  16. Lesley

    Oh Miss Chardy, a most beautifully written piece that brought us right there with you. You are truly generous to share what you’ve all been through with us. It can’t have been easy. I’m sorry for the loss of an outstanding Australian, but draw comfort from the community from which Mick came, his family, his friends, all of whom are now in your life. Now that’s a most wonderful legacy.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Hi Lesley, thanks so much for your message. We are so lucky to have so many great people in our lives.

      Reply
  17. Emma

    Just such a lovely post. I just feel so terrible for everyone involved but it’s nice to know you were all able to lean on each other. RIP Mick.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks Emma.

      Reply
  18. MrsBargie

    You got me good Miss Chardy, thats was beautiful, tears rolling down my face at my desk. You are an inspiration to us all, x

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      No I’m really not Jess, I can just type really fast and just blurt things out. Thanks for your lovely message.

      Reply
  19. O

    Tears are flowing after reading your post……So terribly sad and sorry for your loss. My eldest son spent his early years of distance education schooling with Nev and Mick. Such a lovely family. Our thoughts are with you all ….
    Lisa

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Hi Lisa, thanks so much for your message. They are just a beautiful family, I miss them all so much. So quiet here now.

      Reply
  20. ketaminh

    Hi Miss C
    sad times indeed. Keep writing. I find it helpful, thankyou.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks Minh.

      Reply
  21. Veggie Mama

    What a beautiful send off! Even I cried and I’m so new to your blog.

    That’s the thing I love about the country – the sense of community and everybody pitching in. It’s so lovely.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Hi Stacey – lovely to hear from you over in these outback parts of the blogosphere! Careful I might have you eating beef if you hang around too long! Thanks so much for your lovely message. We have such a wonderful community up here.

      Reply
      • Veggie Mama

        Haha I ate plenty of that when I lived in the outback for 10 years! Well, it was mutton and lamb, but I swear there was a steak in those years somewhere!

        Reply
        • Miss Chardy

          Ha ha ha, did it turn you of meat for life. Too funny. x

          Reply
  22. Chrissy

    oh forgive me if I just sit here for a bit and have a little cry, so very sad and such beautiful words. I was thinking of you all on Friday as I was in the midst of a catering storm for a double funeral for an elderly couple passing just 24 hours apart from totally unrelated health reasons but quite possibly broken hearts xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Oh Chrissy, wow – you certainly would have been busy. Both my Grandma and Nan died within 24 hours of each other. That is amazing that the couple died 24 hours apart, definitely a broken heart. Thanks for your message.

      Reply
  23. ANGELA

    What a lovely poignant post. Very sad but beautifully composed. Take care.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks Angela.

      Reply
  24. Sally

    Excuse me a moment whilst I wipe away my tears. I’m sure it all seems quite surreal for you and your family at the moment. Coming to terms with the fact that a big part of your “family” is not going to be around anymore is a lot to fathom at the moment. I’m sure your generosity and hospitality during this sad time will be remembered forever by Mick’s parents, sister, family and friends and that Mick is in a beautiful place saying to himself, “Thank you Mr & Mrs Chardy – I would not have expected anything less from such wonderful people”. “Time” is a small word but can have an enormous impact on our feelings. Take time to grieve – there is no “time” limit.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Hi Sally, what a lovely message, thanks so much, really appreciate it.

      Reply
  25. Margareta

    I have read your page for a while now, Miss Chardy, and I feel like I know you ‘virtually’ enough to say, my very deepest sympathy to you and your family at this time. And isn’t it just incredible how in tough times like this, wonderful friends and family help get you through. It has been a privilege to witness, through your words, just how much this wonderful man, Mick, was loved and a credit to you and yours as to how much YOU are all loved. Thinking of you …

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Now you are nearly making me cry again… thanks for your lovely message Margareta and thanks for reading!!!

      Reply
  26. Fashionista

    The hat. I was doing OK until I saw his hat. Deep breaths. One foot in front of the other. Boring but true. Take solace from your online community. Xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      I know – the hat…. and you probably couldn’t see them but there were spurs there too…. thanks for your message, love my online community!

      Reply
  27. Mystery Case

    What a moving post. Just wanted to touch base and let you know I’m thinking of you.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks so much, appreciate the message.

      Reply
  28. Di Fulton

    Your emotional writing has really captured, so beautifully, the sadness and raw emotion of Mick’s farewell. A tragic event like this makes you realise how precious life is and makes you appreciate your loved ones. Miss Chardy, you did an amazing job during this difficult time- cooking, preparing, cleaning, making beds etc for everyone. Your support and sympathetic, caring nature were appreciated so much by all. You are truly an inspiration to us all! P.S. Glad to hear Rosie is feeling better!

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks Di, it was so great to have you all up here – a huge help. Thanks so much for coming even if it was just 2 nights. We miss everyone.

      Reply
  29. Nicole @ The Builder's Wife

    Standing in a line waiting amd bawling my eyes out. I am so sorry this has happened. What a tremendously difficult time for everyone involved. I send much love and healing energy. xx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Oh Nicole – sorry I made you cry in public….. thanks so much for your message.

      Reply
  30. De La Vida Spain

    Such a beautiful post. Loosing a friend and someone who was part of your extended family is so very hard. I have often read your blog and admired your writing and how you embrace life in the Outback and the unexpected such as this. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you at this difficult time.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks so much.

      Reply
  31. Sally Towne

    Oh Miss Chardy I can’t stop crying, what beautiful words, so well written and all straight from your heart!! Don’t ever forget how lucky everyone around you are to also have you and Mr Chards in their life!!! Not only has everyone been a huge support to your family but you have also been a massive support to everyone else as well!!! One day at a time, one step at a time, Love Sal xxxxxx

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks Sal, you are so sweet. Can’t wait to see you this weekend. x

      Reply
  32. caitlinshappyheart

    Well I have a huge lump in my throat. It sounds like you did a wonderful job hosting a moving memorial. Sending prayers for you all and particularly Mr. Chardy as he continues without his main man.

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks for thinking of us Caitlin x

      Reply
  33. Nicole- Champagne and Chips

    Oh, you poor things. Isn’t it strange that even the most horrible things have a tiny glimpse of a silver lining- all those wonderful new friends. Thinking of you x

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks Nicole. Lovely to hear from you. x

      Reply
  34. Melissa Macrae

    Even though I did not know Mick the tears are still streaming down my face. What a wonderfully written ending to such a life taken so early. Thinking of you at this time from Rockhampton CQ!

    Reply
    • Miss Chardy

      Thanks so much for your message Melissa and your thoughts.

      Reply

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