The years go by so fast, you blink and they are 14 going on 15!

I have been thinking a lot lately about how fast the years seem to be rolling by. Do you feel the same. I mean, seriously – how is it May already? This time last year my friend Bec and I were beside ourselves with excitement about heading to New York City. I honestly can’t believe it has nearly been a year since we went. If you missed it you can read all about it HERE, HERE and HERE.

I have just finished writing this post and have banged on and on for ages but hang in there. There are some great podcast recommendations at the end if you are in the thick of babies, or even if you are pregnant.

The last few years in particular have gone so fast and I think it is because I have been out of the toddler trenches for quite a while now. I constantly feel guilty about wishing those years away but truth be known I don’t really do toddlerville very well. All the nappy changing, feeding in a high chair, toilet training, mess mess mess, constant questions … are you hearing me?

So yes, I constantly feel guilty. You see I had Tom and Harry quite close, so when Harry was 4 I thought I was home and hosed, I was on the home straight and could see light at the end of the tunnel. Then, I’m not really sure what happened, but I was hit in the head with a big black wall (the light at the end of the tunnel closed over) because, yep – you guessed it – our gorgeous little Clancy came along. I mean, where would we be without him. I was about to give all of my baby gear away. My older boys were toilet trained, one was at school and I was laughing like a shark.

So there I was, back in the thick of it – nappies, up during the night, prams, port-a-cots, bottles, you get the gist. I mean don’t get me wrong, we were so excited about cute little Clancy and Tom and Harry were such a massive help. They used to bounce him in his rocker and make sure he was ok, it really did make such a difference having those older brothers to entertain him, and they loved it. But back to the guilt. Because I didn’t do babies or toddlers well I feel like the older boys missed out on things, but if I really think about it they didn’t – it is all in my head really.

When you are in the thick of things it feels like the days drag on FOREVER, same thing different day… up, feed, clean up, change nappy, put down for sleep, clean up, get some work done, feed baby, change nappy, clean up, put down for sleep, clean up, feed, change nappy, bath time (oh god don’t even get me started on bath time) and then the dreaded dinner time. Then repeat every single day.

I think it only dawned on me just how fast the years go by when we were about to wave Tom off to boarding school back in 2017. There he goes, gone. I have thought so much since then how fast the years are going by. With Clancy older now and at school things are so much easier. I love hanging out with the boys, and guess what – they have even turned out really well, I don’t think they are all that scarred. Harry is now at boarding school and just like that we are left with one kid at home. Clancy is such a big help, always willing to do jobs. He comes over to the kitchen and says “is there anything you would like me to do?” – um…. hold me. How gorgeous is that.

I have also come to my senses and learnt a lot over the years – I have only just figured it out though, I am a pretty slow learner. Back when Tom was little I was a total control freak, wouldn’t let him do ANYTHING for fear that he might hurt himself, or because it was an inconvenience and faster for me to do it. WRONG….. OH SO WRONG. I can’t believe it has taken me so long to figure this shit out. Turns out if you put in the hard yards back when they are little and teach them all of the stuff that is annoying and takes time it will save you so much work later on.

I reckon kids are a bit like a business, if you get your systems in place, get their job descriptions sorted and teach them exactly how to do things then shit actually gets done. Or maybe it is just Clancy. I feel like I used to argue non stop with Tom and that is why in the end I just used to do it myself, because it really was easier. But, even though I didn’t let him do much, he is such a capable young man now, can do a bore run, change a tyre on a ute, pull a bore, ride a horse (who’d have thought – certainly wasn’t from his non horsey Mum showing him how)… but he can do this stuff. So why the guilt?

Harry will get in and do anything when asked, he is very low maintenance and just cruises along. He loves animals and is everyones friend. He played his first game of Rugby on the weekend – like first game ever!!!! Tom must have gone to watch him (what a great big brother) because he sent me video’s of Harry and said “He is actually quite good”. That means a lot coming from Tom and I am so proud of Harry for having a go, because he really didn’t want to. Just goes to show that sometimes they do need a good hard push. Team sports are so important so I hope Harry grows to love it.

Is it just me who beats myself up about being a bad Mum? Maybe, just maybe we have done something right because they seem to have turned out alright in the end. They are smart, happy, healthy young men and seem to have manners. So maybe I need to give myself a stiff upper cut and get the hell over it. Move on sister and enjoy every minute because before long Tom will be in year 12!

With Clancy I have chilled a lot and realised that I have to let him do stuff and be patient with him while he learns (has only taken me 14 years to figure that one out). He comes over to the kitchen and is such a big help, happy to do anything for me, fills up the pantry, unpacks the dishwasher, can make pikelets all by himself and on Monday I taught him how to make white sauce. He loves cooking – is going to make someone a great husband one day. Will be able to cook up a storm.

I think they are going to turn out ok, maybe we have done something right. Here’s to hoping.

I have been so hard up looking for new podcasts lately that I have been listening to quite a few baby podcasts, I know – crazy. I wish these were around when I was pregnant or had young babies – much better than all those books. So here are some great podcasts for you to listen to if you are at that stage (they are all from Mamamia Outloud, get them on your podcast app or you can download the Mamamia Podcast App):

Before the Bump
The Baby Bubble
Hello Bump
The Parent Code
Year One
This Glorious Mess

I love This Glorious Mess, have listened to it from the beginning and never miss an episode.

Please tell me I am not alone on this whole guilty Mum trip. Is this you too? We need to stop with it and start enjoying them… lets end it now! Deal?